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  • Alisa Avruch

Your husband is not your home-improvement project

Does it feel like you're holding your world together with the strength of your own two hands? What would happen if you didn't feel the need to fix your husband?


Goldie had settled into a routine in her marriage.


To tell the truth, it was a routine of despair.


There was little positive to say about her relationship.

  • The constant bickering

  • the long silences

  • the total lack of joy or any emotional connection

It was sad. And stifling


But Goldie was not "the divorcing type". There were the children to think of. And her position in the community.


And therapy? Not happening.


So Goldie just plodded on, resigned to a marriage that was functional - but barely.


Then Goldie learned about the Skills. She didn't really believe they would work, but just to prove them wrong, she decided to try out one skill, for one week.


She decided not to criticize, correct, or instruct her husband.


And she did it. With GREAT difficulty. For seven. Long. Days.


To her great shock, Goldie started to see a shift in her relationship. Her husband was happier. Lighter. They were joking around more. And he even started helping around the house.


When they went to a family simcha the following Sunday, she heard an old friend exclaim to her husband: "Shlomo! What have you been up to? You look like you've been to the Bahamas for vacation!"


Goldie had previously learned all about the importance of respecting her husband. And she had always been very respectful when she told her husband what to do.


Too bad she had never learned what Respect really sounds like, to a man.


Goldie couldn't wait to see what the rest of the skills would do for her relationship.


Why not try out what Goldie did, and see what it does for your marriage?

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