To drive, you need lessons and a driving test.
To become a plumber, you need training and an apprenticeship.
So why is it that to enter the
single most important relationship,
which will shape and influence your entire life,
all you need to do is put on a pretty ring?
Life happens. People are imperfect.
Sometimes your expectations come crashing down to reality.
And you wish things could be – more.
Sure, you probably listened to some classes, or read some books.
But the inspiration fades, and you can’t control other people.
And then it’s back to the same old, same old.
20 years ago, when I started teaching high school girls in Milwaukeee, Wisconsin, I was surprised to learn that most seminaries give little or no practical preparation or skills for marriage. Kallah teachers are pressed for time, and the vast majority of frum women were entering marriage with little understanding of what marriage is all about.
These women may have learned about the beauty of shalom bayis, and of bringing the shechinah into their homes – but little about dealing with the day-to-day struggles, of what it takes to take 2 unique, radically different individuals and merge them into a radiant and wholesome One.
I started teaching my 12th graders the basics: realistic expectations, communication skills, personal and gender differences, and of course the Torah approach to marriage (hint: it’s not about riding off into the sunset!)
Over the years, I developed and refined my curriculum. I read everything about marriage that I could get my hands on, listened to classes, and asked advice.
After almost 20 years, I thought I had seen it all.
When I discovered the Secret Spark skills, I was startled. It all made so much sense – yet why hadn’t I heard about it before? This was more than just “important concepts” or “beautiful ideals”. It was hands-on, practical tools – and they worked!
I started speaking to other women, and I found I was not alone. These techniques were changing lives and relationships – and I knew I had to spread the word.
I developed a brand new curriculum, and worked to refine it, making it super-practical and easy to apply. I consulted da’as Torah, tweaking the methods to ensure that they were aligned with proper hashkafos.
I gave a class by teleconference to my former high school students, then to their friends (spreading to over 150 women by word of mouth alone!).
THE FEEDBACK STARTED COMING IN.
CAN GREATLY IMPACT EVEN A GOOD MARRIAGE
I found the classes very helpful. They were informative and gave concrete ideas of what to do/how etc. I found that so many of the ideas make so much sense and can greatly impact even a good marriage (which I consider myself to have).Thank you thank you!!
REALLY HELPED FOR ALL THE LITTLE ISSUES THAT CAN ADD UP
I b”H had a pretty good marriage already but the class really helped for all the little issues that can add up at times ... I have an even closer and better relationship!! You also made everything very clear and practical so it should be easier to practice the skills!