You can easily come up with a list of your husband's faults, right? But what if you tried coming up with a different list?
Malki was feeling a little out of sorts.
Actually, to tell the truth, she was pretty frustrated. She had put in countless hours to prepare the yom tov meals, serve them, and clean up from them. And the only positive feedback she got was... empty serving dishes.
So while it was nice to see that everyone actually enjoyed eating the food she made...
she couldn't help thinking that it would be nice to hear some compliments once in a while.
On Succos afternoon, she took the kids on the customary "sukkah hopping" expedition in the community.
For the kids, of course, the highlight was the nosh left out in each of the sukkahs ("To make a bracha 'leisheiv basukkah,' the Rabbi said - but everyone knew the goal was really to max out on as much sugar as possible).
And Malki enjoyed seeing the different styles of sukkah decorations.
One sukkah, in particular, blew her away. It had gorgeous artistic tapestries covering the walls, professionally designed light fixtures, and even a real couch and recliner!
This was really the "live like your home" experience that sukkos should really be!
(Even if a bit impractical for most people).
Malki shared her experience with her husband - and was startled to see from his expression that he did not share her enthusiasm. In fact, he looked a bit hurt.
She suddenly realized - I love my sukkah! And my husband puts so much hard work into building it and making it look beautiful!
Did I ever compliment or thank him for it?
No, because it never occurred to me - I just considered it part of his "job"!
Did Malki make sure to thank her husband for the sukkah in future years? Of course!
And she also started noticing - and appreciating - other things he did that she took for granted.
Like:
paying the bills
Mowing the lawn
Shoveling the snow
Listening to her complaints about her day...
You get the picture.
I bet you're wondering if Malki's husband started thanking her for the food. And probably he did.
But that's not the point, is it? Because Malki already got what she really wanted...
A closer, more intimate relationship.
Really.
To learn more about the super-power of appreciation, check out this article .