Hey - What About the Men?
Updated: Jul 5
I sometimes get asked:
Do you teach men, too?
Why do you only teach women and not men?
Why do most marriage coaches, speakers, and teacher address women?
And the most obvious answer is...
Because it's the women who are relationship oriented, so they're the ones who are motivated to come to classes, read books, and go to coaches!
But that just brings us back to our original question of... why?
And it doesn't seem very fair, either - does it?
Believe me, I would love if all men learned about communication skills, relationship skills, and how to fulfill a woman's needs.
But as I developed The Secret Spark, I came to an astonishing revelation:
Even if a man would learn to treat his wife lovingly and respond to her emotional needs, she would most likely never intuitively learn how to respond to his need for respect, appreciation and admiration.
She would probably continue to be stuck in the Giving mode she was trained in, and fail to receive gracefully and be vulnerable in a way that will awaken her husband's natural desire to please his wife.
Even if she had great intentions, she would probably never learn what makes her husband tick. And she would certainly continue to treat him in some of the ways she treats her female friends - never realizing that this is the WORST thing she can do for her relationship.
Conversely, the beauty and the magic of The Secret Spark is this:
Once a woman understands her relationship with her husband as that of a Mekabel, and recognizes him as a Mashpia - and learns the skills to express this recognition - a most amazing thing happens.
Most often, her husband will respond in kind - and start giving her more of the love and attention that she needs.
It's truly amazing how much power you have over your relationship - and how much you can accomplish without your husband's conscious participation, or even awareness. And in the end, you will BOTH be happier, more connected, and enjoy a deeper, more emotionally intimate relationship. Win-win for everyone!