- Alisa Avruch
Hard Work? Not with the right Tools
The letter said it all.
A young woman, wondering why she should want to get married.
What went wrong? Well, it started with good intentions. Her seminary teachers were preparing them for real life, you see. And they didn't want their students falling for the "ride off into the sunset, happily ever after" myth.
"They let us know that it was important to be realistic and not to think that marriage was all peaches and cream. They drilled into us that marriage is hard work and a real laboratory for working on our middos."
(you can read the entire Mishpacha Magazine "Matchquest" article HERE).
Whew! Who WOULD want to get married, with that picture of what's in store? Hard work doesn't sound very appealing, does it - not with visions of suppressing one's desires, being mevater, and struggling to make peace at all costs.
But here's what she missed (or was it perhaps the seminary teachers who missed it?)
Building a marriage does indeed require a degree of work. But it doesn't need to be hard.
Would you hire a plumber who arrives without his toolbox? Would you go to a doctor who has some general ideas about the human body?
So why do we expect to succeed at building the complex, intricate relationship we call marriage... without learning the skills to make it beautiful?
There's no need to "figure it out" on your own. And there's no need for every couple to re-invent the wheel. Because when you really do have the power to transform your marriage - when you are armed with the knowledge and practical skills for a deeper connection.
You can read my inbox letter in response to the article HERE.