Find evidence

Here's a (true) story about Kayla (not her real name - but you knew that already ;)

Kayla had complaints about her husband. In fact, she had nothing BUT complaints about him. But since he would neither accept her criticism, nor go to therapy with her... she went to a therapist by herself.

The therapist, concerned about the impact of her constantly criticizing her husband, urged her to write down her criticisms instead. And she did, generating notebooks upon notebooks of criticism, annoyances, and negativity.

Only...

It didn't help.

And one day, Kayla realized that those notebooks weren't actually making her feel better.

In fact, they were making her feel a lot worse.

Because somehow, that energy of searching out, finding, and recording all of her husband's failings, idiosyncrasies, and flaws, seemed to feed on itself - digging her pit of resentment deeper and deeper, and dragging her down into its depths.

So Kayla decided to try an experiment. She threw out all her notebooks and bought a new shiny pink one, and labeled it:

Evidence of my husband's love for me.

After 6 months, Kayla discovered to her surprise that her husband was a pretty good guy after all.

She wrapped up the (full) notebook and gave it to her husband as a present.

Hmmmm - what happened to all those negative traits, I wonder?

What do you think?