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Important Question


Sorry! This course is closed

Check back after Succos for your next opportunity to deepen your connection!

What's the difference between a
marriage weighed down by recurring annoyance,
frustrations and misunderstandings...
...and one bursting with
 love, fun and laughter?

(Hint: It's not the one where she caught the 'best husband)

You dreamed of a story-book marriage.

Of joyful days and peaceful nights.

Of DMC’s and laughter and cozy dinners.

Of spending the rest of your life with your Best Friend.

And then you came down to earth...
There’s Real Life, after all.

Laundry. Shopping. Work. Deadlines.

Socks on the floor. Dishes in the sink.

In-laws. Simchas. Differences of opinion.

Annoyance. Frustration. Friction.

You make a statement, and suddenly he goes cold. And you don’t even understand what triggered him.

You make a simple suggestion, and you find yourself stuck in that familiar spiral of conflict.

You’re so busy with chores, appointments, finances… you feel like you’re partners in the Family Business.


You’re not miserable

but not gloriously happy either.


What Were You Expecting?

A knight in shining armor to swoop down

and ride off with you into the sunset?

No, of course not.

Well, maybe kinda.

Cuz’ you wish you had better communication. 

An understanding of where your husband is coming from. 

That delicious feeling of being understood, and loved for who you are.

You’re yearning for a deeper emotional connection.
Is That Too Much to Ask?

This isn’t what you bargained for. 

This isn’t the marriage you dreamed of.

And you’re wondering if you’re the only one feeling so challenged.

That nagging sense of dissatisfaction spills over into every area of your life.

You’re less secure, and more stressed. Suffering through the bumpy stretches and bracing yourself during the smooth rides.

It takes two to tango – and sometimes you wish your husband would take a few shalom bayis classes. (Yeah, like that’s going to happen).

Your emotional wellbeing is inextricably tied to your most crucial relationship – and you wish it was, well, sweeter.


Because your marriage isn’t just another thing

on your plate.


It IS the plate.

What if your marriage could be the calm oasis that you can confidently retreat to?

What if you could have that deeper emotional intimacy you always dreamed of?


  • How can you create change if your husband is not on board?

  • How can you find the time and energy when you are so consumed by your family’s needs?

  • How do you get a deeper connection, anyway?

You didn’t get much training for the career of a lifetime.

A few hashkafa classes in Sem.

Some tidbits here and there sprinkled through kallah classes.

Then, the whirlwind of preparation for The Night you’d been anticipating since you were six years old, dreaming of sparkly gowns twirling in the moonlight.


Beachy curls or updo?  Orchids or lilies? Taffeta or organza? 

Was your wedding the happiest day

of your life?

(And does that mean it was

downhill from there?)

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You were thrust into the realities of building a relationship. 

Step by faltering step.

And you wondered – why did I spend 12 years of my life being taught about square roots and dangling participles and unicellular paramecium (and  1,743,956 other irrelevant factoids)...

…and no one taught me about THIS?

You tried to figure it out on your own. 

  • A blog post. 

  • A book. 

  • A lecture delivered by an earnest Rebbetzin extolling the importance of Shalom Bayis.

Be Mevater, they said.

Give more. Communicate better.

You learned about I-messages, respect, and giving.


You made his favorite suppers, tried not to interrupt his learning, and got off the phone when he came home.

Sometimes it even helped for a while. But then you were back to the same old patterns.

Because you learned inspiring hashkafos about the value of peace, the beauty of giving, the Shechina dwelling in your home….

…But they somehow got lost in the overflowing garbage cans, the frantic erev Shabbosim, the misunderstandings and the arguments and the resentment.


You’ve tried every combination of words in the English Language to communicate your dissatisfaction and present the obvious solutions of what your husband ‘just needs to do’ to provide you with your dream marriage.


It’s not working. It never did. 

Which begs the question:

If you can’t change him – well, then how will anything ever change?

And you wonder – is this the way it’s always going to be?


Secret Spark 


The tools for a deeper connection

Where you will question your beliefs about what makes a relationship work.

Where you will get a fresh look on marriage and a more encompassing take on the nature of men and women.




Grounded in the Torah-true concepts of Mashpia/Mekabel, The Secret Spark is much more than nice hashkafos and beautiful ideals. 

At The Secret Spark, you will walk out of every class with actionable processes, words and mindset techniques to decrease conflict, increase calm, and deepen your connection with your husband.

Because it IS possible to have an amazing, fulfilling marriage.

But it doesn’t  happen because you married

the Right Person.

It happens when you are empowered with tools that will take you step by step to the relationship of your dreams.


Just imagine…

Your husband looking at you with that twinkle in his eye - just like in the early days of your relationship

More love, more fun, more laughter - without the worries of stress coming up just around the corner

A warm and delicious sense of emotional intimacy, as your relationship grows progressively deeper

Secret Spark Foundations empowers women like you to be change agents in their marriage with

Actionable skills so you know exactly what to say to not only avoid conflict – but to increase intimacy

Practical, step-by-step instructions to address your husband’s deepest needs – and your own

The tools to show up as the wife you want to be… and to self-actualize the person you want to be.

All with the support, encouragement and accountability of a group of like-minded women.

It’s what you needed all along – but never knew.

And The Best Part is:

The Secret Spark puts all the power in your hands.

You’re the one in control.

You’re the one who has what it takes to transform your relationship – you just need to learn how.

You don’t have to convince your husband to read the right book or go to a class. You don’t need to “convince” him to do anything at all.

All you have to do is focus on yourself. 

Your behaviors. Your words. Your mindset.

 And just like that – the dynamic shifts.


Suddenly your husband becomes the 

person you married in the first place.


You’re building the emotional intimacy you’re craving,

as your relationship continuously grows deeper and closer.

And you realize that marriage doesn’t have to be so hard, after all.

Because when you become a true

Mekabel – everything changes.

" It's unreal how much my marriage gained !"

Just wanted to tell you it's been a few weeks now after practicing all the skills. It's unreal how much I see my marriage gained from this! Cannot thank you enough!

C. F.

"I view our interactions more in the light of building and connecting instead of just getting stuck on the myriad of details"

I feel more empowered with skills to change negative and frustrating conversations and situations into calmer peaceful and more productive ones. I view our interactions more in the light of building and connecting instead of just getting stuck on the myriad of technical aspects that need to be worked out in a b”H busy home. They have taken the secondary placement where they belong, so my focus and attention can be on increasing my emotional connection with my husband.

M. W.

"I’m finding the skills and tips you are sharing to be so helpful and life-changing."

Being married 30 plus years, I can say that there are so many wonderful parts of our marriage B”H, but there are also so many areas that over the years I wished I knew how to change or improve, whether in myself or my husband. 

There were many times when I felt that it was my husband who should “change”, but it’s so true that if you want to change the world, start with yourself!  I’m finding the skills and tips you are sharing to be so helpful and life-changing. My feelings about certain things, and my attitude as well, are shifting in a certain direction that enables me to grow in my relationship with my husband.

P. G.

Aren’t you Ready to Get The Deeper Connection You Always Dreamed of?

At Secret Spark Foundations, you get

6 bi-weekly live, interactive Zoom classes with Q&A,
learning the foundations and applications of the Mashpia/Mekabel relationship.


You walk out of every class with skills uniquely designed to decrease conflict, improve communication, and deepen your connection. Skills you put into practice immediately after each session and watch how they transform your relationship. Classes are recorded for your convenience.

Ongoing email messages

with reminders, inspiration, and additional tips for practicing the skills and maximizing the impact on your relationship - to keep you on track and focused on your progress

Texting group

where you can ask questions, share your wins, and get support from other women just like you

Access by private text or email

to get your personal questions answered personally on in class

Optional accountability partner

to support you through your application and practice of the skills

You’ve put time, effort and money into perfecting your parenting, your chinuch, your tablescapes and your yom tov menus.

Isn’t it about time you invested in the one thing that affects YOU most profoundly – today and every day for the rest of your life?

The classes were great! Very light and easy to listen to and so, so down to earth! and I loved the way it was broken up into mini clases so that the information should not be overwhelming.

I really enjoyed the classes which were given in such a clear, concise manner and even though the content was deep, it was given over in a way that was so simple to understand!



Alisa is very responsive and addressed all questions and even created a mini class based on things that were brought up. I felt really connected, not like I was just attending a lecture.

I loved the classes. I couldn’t wait, and especially enjoyed the “ready to use immediately” skills each week! It wasn’t just talk but practical ready-to-use skills. Every word was GOLD.



6 action-packed modules giving you an

 understanding of the Mashpia/Mekabel relationship 

AND the skills to actualize it in your marriage:

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Module 1: Being a Receiver

Spoiler alert: once you start to see yourself as a Mekabel, everything changes. Learn the deeper Torah ideal of the male/female relationship. Then tap into the practical applications of using it to transform your relationship.

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Module 2: Achieving your Desires

You want so many things from your husband - his help around the house, money for ‘extras’, a gift for your birthday. You may have tried telling, asking, hinting, or hoping – but it doesn’t always work out the way that you want. 

Find out the magic words that are the most likely to get you what you want – and increase emotional intimacy in your relationship at the same time!

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Module 3: The Happy Wife

The ultimate steps to a deeper connection start in a surprising place: honoring and nurturing your own physical and emotional needs. Because... a happy wife is an attractive wife.

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Module 4: What your Husband wants the Most

Learn what is "oxygen" for your husband - and how you can give it to him. Once you understand the dynamics of the male-female relationship and apply them, the shift in your relationship boomerangs back to you, as your husband is better able to provide your emotional needs

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Module 5: The Real Communication Skills

We are taught that the key to marriage is “good communication”. But so often, following the rules of communication does NOT bring us to emotional intimacy.

We will learn how to speak in a way that deepens your connection and diminishes conflict, while addressing your own needs and desires.

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Module 6: Couple Connect

A million and one everyday interactions combine to create the environment of the home we've built.

But at the end of the day - what about US? 

Learn how to go way beyond "date nights" to carve out the time, space and energy for growing your relationship from the inside out.

6 bi-weekly live classes - $300 value


But wait - there’s more!

Course package includes these bonuses

Bonus #1

Over 25 additional recorded mini-classes

Watch at your convenience and get additional tips after every live class, for using the skills to deepen your connection!

$200 value

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Bonus #2

Exclusive Foundations Workbook

Track your progress and record your successes, as you implement your new skills after every class

$50 value

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plus these special guests
($100 value)


Gila Levitt:

What your Kallah

Teacher Never

Taught You

Your emotional intimacy is thriving - but there's a whole facet of marriage we haven't mentioned yet.

​We are honored to have Gila Levitt of the Heart of Marriage workshop answer your questions LIVE about hashkafa AND practical aspects of physical intimacy in a Torah marriage.

Gila Levitt has the haskama of Rabbi Yitzchok Breitowitz and Rabbi Zev Leff.

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Tamar Ansh:

House into Home

Make your home that homey, loving place...with your food, right from your kitchen. Even if you don't cook at all! (Spoiler: it has nothing to do with recipes or talent!)

Renowned challah expert, motivational chizuk coach and book author Tamar Ansh will share how you can actually transform the feeling in your home just by the way you prepare your food...creating that warm, loving feeling your family looks forward to when coming home! Includes simple tips and ideas that ANY woman can use, no matter how domesticated you think you are (or are not)! 

"We spent too many years on raising our kids and neglecting our own relationship."

When I practiced the skills, my husband responded by wanting to spend more time with me and even initiating it! We are more in love now, and respect each other despite our differences. 

D. R.

"I followed most of the skills and slowly I was seeing a better attitude flow and communication."

I was constantly annoyed at my husband and wanted to feel connected and understood, as opposed to “the housekeeper.” I followed most of the skills and slowly, I was seeing a better attitude flow and communication. It’s no more me against you: we are both committed in this life together and are figuring out the details together to please us both.

N. O.

"Each week I tried implementing the skills and they helped with more positive mind shifts in me"

I love taking chinuch habanim courses but had never really seen shalom bayis classes. Each week I tried implementing the skills and they helped with more positive mind shifts in me, which in turn positively affected how I related to my husband. Common trigger situations that in the past ended with non productive conversations, either ended up with a practical solutions or at the very least- minimized the negativity.

Z. T.

"I didn't even realize what was lacking"

Much more emotionally connected than before! I didn't even realize what was lacking before! Now I am educated…

R. K.

Register by Wednesday, November 15th

to get your


Fast Action Bonus #1:

Keeping the spark alive - in the "off" weeks

We want closeness – all the time.

But some times of the month we need to work harder to get there.

​Enjoy this exquisite pdf guide to nurturing your relationship during the time of niddah – graciously shared by coach Gila Levitt.

$25 value

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Fast Action Bonus #2:

Conquring the pre-shabbos rush

Why is it that no matter what time Shabbos starts, I’m always rushed at the end?

Yes – you really can conquer the Pre-Shabbos rush! A practical guide graciously shared by time management coach Debra David

$25 value

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Fast Action Bonus #3:

Foundations show notes

​Receive a detailed outline of the class and mini-classes.


​Great for review and keeping the skills top-of-mind!

$50 value

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I’m Alisa Avruch, reading addict, chocolate babka nosher, and compulsive letter-to-the-editor writer. And I’ve spent over 2 decades teaching women how to have the best possible marriage.

I knew that “happily ever after” is not the end of the story, but rather the beginning of a life of learning and building a relationship. And I devoted myself to bringing the best in Torah ideals and marriage education to women all over the globe.

But it wasn’t until 7 years ago that I discovered the key that makes all the difference

Because inspiration will get you only so far. Fluffy hashkafos might help for a day or a week – but then it’s back to the old patterns, with no end in sight.

So when I rebuilt my course on the Torah concept of the  Mashpia/Mekabel framework, I took it beyond beautiful philosophical concepts.

Since then, 457 course participants have experienced the power of… The Secret Spark.

I've been honored to be featured in

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With frequent appearances in

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Secret Spark Foundations: 

The tools for a deeper connection


Get the practical, hands-on skills and mindset shifts

 to build emotional intimacy in your marriage

 every single day - without needing your husband’s 

participation, approval, or even active awareness.


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  • 6 live bi-weekly interactive Zoom classes with Q&A

  • Ongoing emails with tips, stories and reminders

  • Texting group for questions, support and encouragement

  • Get your personal questions answered by text or email

  • Optional accountability partner

  • GUEST SPEAKERS: Gila Levitt, Tamar Ansh

  • BONUS: 30+ recorded mini classes

  • BONUS: Exclusive Foundations workbook to track your progress

  • FAST ACTION BONUS: What Love Language Sparks your Marriage - online quiz

  • FAST ACTION BONUS: Tips for times of Niddah (pdf)

  • FAST ACTION BONUS: Conquer the pre-Shabbos rush (pdf)

  • FAST ACTION BONUS: Show notes

Total value: $750

Your investment:

Just $279

Payment plan available


$279 (one time payment)

$55.80 (5 monthly payments)

Your total is the same!

No Risk 30-Day

Money Back Guarantee!

"The value your course gives is in the little things that are big things but don’t necessitate the therapy couch."

Over the years I did not know where to go for help. Was it counseling? I turned to books and educated myself on what I could, but the value your course gives is in the little things that are big things but don’t necessitate the therapy couch. And for bringing Torah sources that this is how Hashem intended our roles to be.


I wish I had learned [all this] long ago. I’m so happy I took this course to strengthen and continue to

strengthen these skills, and my marriage benefits daily.

G. Y.

"Wish I had taken this class 24 years ago…"

...and here I thought I was "helping...suggesting...fixing...



...and simply reacting... Although ingrained habits are difficult to unlearn, I can now hear myself suggest, correct, or comment and can now realize there is a better way of interacting with my husband than what I have been doing...Expressing myself should not be at his expense,even if my motive was to "help"....,just keeping quiet and being supportive can really be a better path!


"It's only two days in, and I'm already seeing a shift!"

I read a whole bunch of your testimonials from previous students before signing up for the course, and my thought was "Wow! I wish I'll also see such changes at the end of the course!" Anyway, it's only two days in, and I'm already seeing a shift! Thanks again for giving me this opportunity to enhance my relationship, and I'm looking forward to the rest of the classes!

S. H.

"As  soon as I started

implementing the first skill, I saw a change almost immediately"

I have a wonderful husband B"H, but there was conflict. I was also looking for a deeper connection and way to communicate better with my husband. I felt like I would often say the wrong thing that would make him upset, without realizing why he was reacting so strongly. 


In the beginning, as soon as I started

implementing the first skill, I saw a change almost immediately (within a week). My husband responded positively. I saw that he was more open to helping me take care of things, when he felt more appreciated and respected. I was amazed at how simple the skills were, yet how big of an impact these little tiny changes can make in a relationship.  



30-Day Money-Back Guarantee for You

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The Secret Spark skills help the vast majority of women  improve their marriage. But how can you know if it will work for you?


I can’t promise you what will happen in your relationship, but I can tell you this:


If you participate in the class and you feel that your marriage has not been impacted within 30 days…


Just send me your workbook with your results, and I will refund your full payment.

You literally have nothing to lose - 

and everything to gain.

  • Hey, wait a minute. The Mashpia/Mekabel framework? Isn’t that the one where you have to let your husband make all the decisions?
    This is such a common misconception, so I’m glad you brought it up! The Mashpia/Mekabel system goes way beyond who makes the decisions at any given moment. It affects your attitude, your relationship, your words – and ultimately, the way your husband reflects back to you. Contrary to popular belief, being a Mekabel does NOT require you to give up your right to express your desires, opinions, dreams and needs. Quite the opposite, in fact – it gives you the tools to communicate in the best way possible so you feel cared for and respected.
  • Is this going to be another one of those idealistic, pie-in-the-sky shalom bayis classes?
    Peace, calm, love and connection are the by-products of the Secret Spark skills – but we don’t get to them just by talking about them. You’ll walk out of every class ready to practice the specific, detailed and powerful skills – and you’ll most likely start to see results within a few days after practicing them!
  • But, Alisa,  I don’t have tiiiiiiime!
    Believe me, I know the feeling of being pulled in all directions at once and thinking that I don’t have an extra minute in my day. But I also know that when something is important, somehow I make it happen. You’re IY”H going to be spending the next 50+ years together with your husband (that’s over 18,250 days - I did the math for you). Isn’t it worth the investment of a few hours to make those weeks, days and hours the best they can be?
  • What if the timing of the classes doesn’t work for me?
    If you can attend the classes live, great – you’ll get the benefit of on-the-spot answers to your questions and the camaraderie of a group of inspired and motivated women. But if you miss a class or if the time doesn’t fit your schedule (or time zone!), you will be able to watch the recordings and send in your questions by email or text.
  • How do I convince my husband to agree to pay for this?
    Fortunately, your husband is the greatest beneficiary of this course. Who wouldn’t want to have a happier wife and a more beautiful marriage? (If he’s wondering what you’ll be learning about, just tell him that you’re learning how to respect and appreciate your husband 😉)
  • I’d love to get a deeper relationship, but I don’t really see how this course can help, since most of the problems in our marriage are because of my husband!
    One of the most amazing side effects of the Secret Spark skills, is the power that you, as a woman, have over the entire marriage relationship. Your words, your actions, even your mindset – all have a powerful impact on your marriage, which in turn affects your husband (usually without him consciously noticing!)
  • The price is totally reasonable but I just can’t swing that amount all at once right now.
    Totally understandable – and I wouldn’t want you to miss out on your deeper connection over something as simple as that! That’s why I offer a manageable payment plan option (and your total will still be the same!)
  • It all sounds amazing, but how can I be sure it will actually help my marriage?
    Hundreds of women have improved their relationships and deepened their connection through the Secret Spark skills, and it’s very rare that a marriage is not impacted when the wife is putting in the effort to actualize the tools and mindsets that she learned. Having said that, of course every marriage is different, and I understand that it’s scary to invest in something without knowing if it will actually work for you. That’s why I offer a 30 day money back guarantee. If you watch the classes, do the homeworks, and track your efforts on the Mission Tracking Sheet - and you still find that your marriage has not changed for the better - then simply forward your tracking sheet to me and I will refund your full payment.

Secret Spark Foundations: 

The tools for a deeper connection


Get the practical, hands-on skills and mindset shifts

 to build emotional intimacy in your marriage

 every single day - without needing your husband’s 

participation, approval, or even active awareness.

mini-logo 2 red big.png

Package value: $750

Your investment:

Just $279

Payment plan available

$279 (one time payment)

$55.80 (5 monthly payments)

Your total is the same!

No Risk 30-Day Money Back Guarantee!

"After months of counseling I have seen more changes in the past few weeks than in all the work we have ever did"

We have gone for counseling in the past and even after months of counseling I have seen more changes in the past few weeks than in all the work we have ever done. He actually bought me so many gifts this Chanuka and I don’t think he ever bought me gifts for Chanuka before!

Z. K.

"I feel like I now have a toolbox to go back to"

I think the biggest change is my mindset. I feel like I now have a toolbox to go back to when I see that my husband is reacting negatively, and I try to repeat the skills/words I've used that were received positively. 


I knew before the course that there were changes that could be made to strengthen our relationship, but I felt stuck - I didn't really know how to correct what I was doing/saying. Now, I feel much more empowered.



30-Day Money-Back Guarantee for You

[CITYPNG.COM]Gold Satisfaction Guarantee Badge Sign Logo HD PNG - 1114x1113.png

If you watch all the classes, do the homeworks, and record your progress on your Mission Tracking sheet, and you feel that your marriage has not been impacted within 30 days…


Just send me your workbook with your results, and I will refund your full payment.


What is it worth to you

To have an atmosphere of calm, joy and fun in your marriage?

To see your children relaxed and happy because they feel safe and secure, seeing their parents’ beautiful relationship?

To look back 10, 20, 30 years from now - when it’s just you and your husband - and think “I’m so glad we have the relationship that we built together”?

To live every single day feeling your relationship grow closer and deeper?

Just think -

For the cost of 

  • dips for Shabbos

  •  your frum magazines

  •  or one session with a marriage therapist…

You could be enjoying the emotional intimacy and deeper

connection of the marriage of your dreams.


Every single day for the rest of your lives together.


You literally have nothing to lose - 

and everything to gain

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